Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
