the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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