garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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