So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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