how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
