so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
