Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My vagina just clenched in fear
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
