i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
