I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
