So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Holy sore nipples Batman
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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