I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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