hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
