I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
