I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
