good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
