New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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