Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
