It was confusing and full of hummus
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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