As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
