Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
