thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
