Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
As shirtless as possible
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize