every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize