I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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