they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
