so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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