I cannot find my penis.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
3 2 1 whiskey
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
