You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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