Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
