i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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