i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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