return my video game
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
