We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
