Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
