Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
