Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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