While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
