people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
