He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
