butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
