Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
