I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
