I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You made out with two different species that night
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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