i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
