gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
