More tranny stories later!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
