I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There r osticjed everywhere
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
