She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
