I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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