So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
